Sunday was a wild day for me. I gave a witness talk to a group of women from my parish of St James. I use the term group loosely. When I think of group, I think of under 50. This was a crowd of between 225 and 250. YIKES! I’m not big into public speaking. It scares the daylights out of me. When I saw the ballroom set up for that many, even though I knew it would be a decent sized crowd, I seriously thought I’d have a heart attack on the spot.
At first, I was so thankful that I wasn’t the first speaker. But then as the other woman spoke, I found all theses emotions creeping up. I kept thinking, “Uh-oh – I can’t get all choked up and then try to speak about my own emotional stuff.” So I kept it all in check and somehow managed to deliver my own talk without breaking down into tears. What I wasn’t prepared for was the responses.
I’m a writer by nature and while I’m used to hearing from people how my writing affected them, I’m not used to actually seeing it. If you read one of my blog posts and you get teary over it, I don’t see that. You might tell me later, but it’s not the same. Suddenly I had people, some I knew to varying degrees and some total strangers, coming up to tell me how I’d impacted them. It was…well…emotionally messy but not in bad way. It was just that it was out of my control. It wasn’t on my time table. Wait a second, I think I surrendered something by doing this. How did that happen? I don’t do surrender well. I guess maybe surrender naturally follows trust. Perhaps as the trust deepens, so does the level of surrender. I don’t know yet but I’ll let you know.
St. James Women’s Communion Breakfast – Witness Talk: Trust Me
Link to the Video:http://www.vimeo.com/23179209